Gags 4 U - The Joy of Nonsense

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they’re chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

“She’s facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper,” Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. “See, I can’t say it with a straight face.”

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.

Butts insisted it was the first time she’d pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney’s advice.

The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state’s habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions.

Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

Bus drivers have nicknamed a white cat Macavity after it has started using the No 331 several mornings a week.

The feline, which has a purple collar, gets onto the busy Walsall to Wolverhampton bus at the same stop most mornings - he then jumps off at the next stop 400m down the road, near a fish and chip shop.

The cat, nicknamed Macavity, has one blue eye and one green eye

The cat was nicknamed Macavity after the mystery cat in T.S Elliot’s poem. He gets on the bus in front of a row of 1950s semi-detached houses and jumps off at a row of shops down the road which include a fish and chip shop.

Driver Bill Khunkhun, 49, who first saw the cat jumping from the bus in January, said: “It is really odd, the first time I saw the cat jumping off the bus with a group of passengers. I hadn’t seen it get on which was a bit confusing.

white cat“The next day I pulled up on Churchill Road to let a couple of passengers on. As soon as I opened the doors the cat ran towards the bus, jumped on and ran under one of the seats, I don’t think any of the passengers noticed.

“Because I had seen it jump off the day before I carried on driving and sure enough when I stopped just down the road he jumped off - I don’t know why he would catch the bus but he seems to like it. I told some of the other drivers on this route and they have seen him too.”

Since January, when the cat first caught the bus he has done it two or three times a week and always gets on and off at the same stops.

A 23-year-old Winona man who was stabbed nine times early Saturday morning told police he couldn’t identify his assailants because he slept through the whole thing.

Deputy police chief Tom Williams said Winona Police are investigating the incident which occurred at about 1:30 a.m. at a residence on the 700 block of east Fifth Street, but was not reported until 7:57 a.m.

Williams said the victim told officers he slept through the attack and only became aware of his injuries when his girlfriend saw he was covered in blood and brought them to his attention. He was taken to Community Memorial Hospital and then transferred to LaCrosse for treatment. He remained hospitalized Monday morning.

Williams said the investigation of the incident will continue.

A man in China has refused to sell his house as part of a massive development project, which is turning the area into a 40 million dollar apartment and shopping mall. After man demanded 1.3 million for his home, developers had an idea - They just dug around him! - Leave or stay where ever you are for life !!

BERLIN - A German man who spent 10 days in a self-made box atop a 72-foot-tall pole to protest a looming jail term was lured off his perch by his wife — who sent up a topless picture of herself in his lunch box.

Fred Gregor, 45, was bidding to have his 15-month conviction for fraud overturned by squatting in his tiny cubicle atop a converted television mast. He told Reuters in a telephone interview last week that he wanted a new trial.

His wife Susanne, 25, backed his protest until the former stripper and mother of their five children decided she had had enough.